WHO AM I?
This thought has been bothering me for some days now.
The lockdown and it’s aftermath effect which is boredom has caused me to think deeply about certain aspect of things especially as it relates to me.
The question ‘WHO AM I? ‘ just popped up two days ago in my mind and since then my spirit has not rested.
Maybe the question is one that is very vital which is necessary and essential for me to answer.
However, this question is one that is inevitable for one to answer as circumstances one day, one time, one moment can bring the question up for consideration.
Just last week, I saw a boy of about eighteen years old(18yrs.) fighting with another boy of about twenty years old (20yrs.).
The intriguing part of the event was not even the fight but the question I heard one of them ask.
The boy of 18yrs. old asked the boy of 20yrs. old ‘WHO ARE YOU?’ WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE’?
To some persons, the regular answer the other boy should have answered is ‘I am the son of Dr. Emeka Ejiogu. My Father is a Commissioner or a House of Assembly member’ but then does this description give an answer to who you are?
Does that answer define your nature as a person?
Who truly are you?
Since this question started bothering me, I have not really being myself because if I am asked this question one day, what will be my answer?
Definitely, not the regular type of answer because it’s not an answer to who I am.
I was thrown into a state of reminiscence in a bid to fanthom out who trully I am.
I had to recount my experiences so far from Primary school till date.
In my Primary school days, I was not the best of brains but then I strived to at least be amongst those at the top. I always put efforts in reading, studying and asking questions where I am confused. It was not all that easy for me because I strived to meet up to standard and to make by parents proud by excelling in my results.
But guess what? I never came First, Second nor Third position in my class. Despite all my efforts, focus and determination, first and second position ran far away from me.
This continued till I finished my primary school but I never lost hope or the zeal to continue in my might.
Secondary School days came and another phase of challenge arrived.
I was so determined and also focused to excel and not just to excel but be up to standard with the best brains in my class back then.
My determination and focus dissappointed me because I never came top in my class but then I always passed very well.
Passing very well was not my focus but coming top in my class was a reward I expected for my efforts. Maybe Fate didn’t want to take me to the direction of my focus. So I thought.
In the midst of this, my stature back then also sufficed to undermine my capacity. My fellow classmates looked at me as a boy who had less or nothing to offer.
This made them underrate my capacity and capability.
I suffered these for the rest of my six(6) years in Secondary school. ?
I thought fate will compensate me in tertiary institution by granting me my focus but NO! I was totally wrong.
In the University, my zeal and determination never ceased nor went cold rather I ignited it the more to see if brother Fate will at least have pity on me and do some compensations.
My efforts were never seen in my grades. I will read and study hard for an A but atlast a B or C will come through. Such a frustration !.
However, I have been enduring it all till date not because I am not touched or bothered about it which will make me give up but because whenever I remember my background, I loose sight of failure and it’s acquintances. The fear of failing has kept me determined to fight to the last.
It has been an endurance journey all along. I said to myself after recounting all.
I came to the conclusion that I am not just Sylvester nor the son of Innocent but I am the sun that is rising from the east.
I am focus. I am determination. I am greatness. I am success. I am zeal and I am graced.
A thorough look at my journey so far will go a long way in portraying all these qualities of mine.
All those qualities has kept me going and striving for more because I know that one day Fate will do the needful.
My journey so far and the challenges I have overcome in it constitutes the definition of who I am.
Chi wu okem ( God is my share)..
I am greatness
I am determination
I am courage
I am focus
I am graced
I am the sun rising from the east.
I am fire and I am war. ?
That’s who i am.
WHO ARE YOU? ?
Think about it !